took me a while, but here it is!

"Afterthought"
By: graae
Pairing: Chase/Cameron.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Spoilers for "Hunting".
Summary: Chase can't stop thinking about his night with Cameron and decides to get some answers - what he ends up getting is more than he bargained for.
Disclaimer: If I owned the show, I wouldn't have to write fic.
Notes: Formerly "And It Didn't Suck". Thought this was more appropriate. Expect a sister-fic from Cameron's POV and possibly a sequel. My brain is working overtime, it seems.
X-Posted: chase_cameron

He couldn't help but wonder why she acted the way she had. One quick little conversation between the two of them and it was as though nothing had ever happened. Why was that? Why wasn't she running around screaming "rape"? Why was she still giving him the time of day? Why didn't she ever throw it all back in his face while trying to play one of her many pity cards? Why did she choose him in the first place? "Why" seemed to be the word of the past few months for him.

Most of the time they were busy - it was all right - no time to think about it. But today was an abnormally slow day. Freakishly slow, even. Downright dull. So there he sat at the table where usually four brilliant minds were at work. Today, Foreman sat playing solitaire across from him and Cameron down at the other end, clicking away on her laptop.

He shifted in his chair a bit then proceeded to go back to tapping a pencil against his lips, watching Cameron intently. Whatever she was writing, it had her enthralled completely - he'd never seen her able fingers fly so fast against the keys.

She was a strange girl with a sordid past. No one knew the details of it, nor did they dare to ask. It was intriguing but frightening at the same time. She was the one person that he truly sat around wondering about what made them tick. She drove him mad sometimes. Or maybe he drove himself mad thinking about her too much.

What he had done he wasn't proud of. He was aware of what was going on. He knew how wrong it was. But in all fairness, she didn't give him much of a choice. Maybe that was the answer to all of his questions: she was ashamed of herself. He didn't care for that answer much, though - what was so shameful about sleeping with him? It was a blow to the ego. Because, of course, her shame revolved around him - not what she herself had done.

The more troubling aspect of this in Chase's mind, was how he was still thinking about it to this day. Months after the fact. It was just sex, after all. A one night stand. Nothing he hadn't experienced before. So why was he sitting around, contemplating the logistics of what had gone on in an drug-induced high? Another "why" without a solid answer.

Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by a card hitting him in the face and he frowned, quickly glaring at a smug-looking Foreman. "What'd you do that for?!"

Foreman raised his eyebrows, leaning over the table a little and lowering his voice. "You stare at her any harder and you might burn a hole through her."

A "hmph"-like noise came from Chase's mouth as he leaned back in his chair, arms folding across his chest. "You're daft."

Shrugging, Foreman reached over and grabbed his card back, shuffling the deck. "I just call it like I see it."

"Yeah and you're seeing it wrong."

"She might like you, too, you know."

Chase couldn't help the blush that crept up into his cheeks, turning them a more obvious shade of pink. He wasn't one to blush often and when he did, it scared him a bit. Even more so when it was over the opposite sex. "Don't you have work to do?"

"Trust me, if I had work to do, I'd be doing it," Foreman replied, setting up the cards for another game. Glancing up at Chase with a smirk he asked, "Want to write her a note? I could pass it to her in study hall."

Rolling his eyes, Chase got up and went over to the coffee machine, pouting a bit to himself. He didn't like Cameron. Not like that, at least. Just because he was thinking about their night together didn't mean he had feelings for her. He had questions that needed answers - that was the extent of it. And he would keep telling himself that until he made himself believe it.

"Can I have one, too?"

He jumped at the soft, sweet voice next to him and quickly turned to see Cameron there, holding her mug out for him and looking perplexed. "Sorry...I didn't mean to scare you."

Chase shook his head, plastering a small smile on his face as he took the mug from her. "I was just thinking about something."

Cameron tilted her head, watching as he poured her a cup. "You seem out of it today. Is everything okay?"

Chase nodded. "Fine."

"Okay...oh, uh two creams --"

"Three sugars," he finished, glancing over at her and smiling genuinely this time.

She smiled back at him, nodding. "Right..." Taking the mug from him, she watched him pour his own cup for a moment before finally saying, "Thanks." and heading back to her seat.

"How do I take my coffee?" Foreman asked from the table, continuing to play with the cards.

Coming back to the table with his own cup, Chase frowned, sitting back down. "How am I supposed to know?"

Foreman just smirked, shaking his head as he placed a red queen on top of a black king.

"Cameron." With the sound of that voice, everyone looked up in unison - like eager puppies waiting for a treat. Chase glanced around to Foreman and Cameron standing at attention. He wished he knew how House could have such a presence about him. He'd been watching him for a while now, trying to figure out the method to all of his madness and coming up with nothing. House never stopped surprising him - or impressing him. All he could do was hope that someday, he could capture people's attention when he entered a room the way House did. Without being a jerk, at least.

"What?" Cameron replied.

"Computer froze." Limping over to the coffee machine, he added, "Brownie points if you can save my game of Sudoku."

Sighing, Cameron got up and went into his office, her mug of coffee going along with her.

"Ask Chase how you take your coffee," Foreman said, leaning back in his chair.

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this?" Chase asked.

"I'm just curious if Cameron's coffee is the only coffee you pay attention to."

"I don't pay attention to anyone's coffee! I've worked with her for a while now, I just remember these things."

"So then you'd know how House takes his coffee, too."

"Ooh," House said, intrigued, going over and sitting down next to Foreman. "Drama. I love drama."

"There's no drama!" Chase said, becoming rather annoyed with everything at the moment. So he knew how Cameron took her coffee, why was this evidence of his love for her? His non-existent love, of course. And so what? He'd spent the bulk of their boring morning staring at her and thinking about them sleeping together. Unanswered questions, plain and simple. "Why"s that swirled around his head. It was nothing more than that.

He still couldn't get himself to believe it.

"He's spent the entire morning staring at Cameron. And he knows how she takes her coffee."

House raised an eyebrow. "And so you think he has a thing for her based on that?" Shaking his head, he took a sip of his coffee and stood back up. "I thought that was fairly obvious when he slept with her when she was high."

Chase felt the hot sting of another blush forming and he quickly ducked his head. It was bad enough that Foreman had to see this and get a kick out of it, let alone House, too. "It wasn't like that."

"Oh. So...then you just had sex with her for shits and giggles?" Nodding, House gave Chase the "ok" sign. "Nice."

"It wasn't like that, either!" Chase stood up, glaring at the both of them. "It didn't mean anything to either of us, it was - it was a mistake! A huge mistake. And it's never happening again. We agreed to that." Shrugging, he crossed his arms, trying to force the blush to subside. "I could have any woman I want. Why would I settle for Cameron?"

"...Your computer's fixed, House."

Turning around, Chase saw Cameron standing in the doorway between House's office and the lounge, an obvious hurt expression on her face. He swallowed hard, feeling a distinct pain inside his stomach at the sight of her. He knew she'd heard what he said. The pained look on her face told him that. He should've just shut up and moved on. He should've left the room. He should've done anything but what he ended up doing. "Cameron...I - I --"

She just shook her head, quickly rushing out the door and down the hall. Chase looked between House and Foreman, knowing full-well what his going after her would mean to them. But he had to explain himself. He had to make things right again. Bitterly he said, "Thanks, guys." to them both, then ran off after Cameron.

"Wow," House said. "Awk-ward."

"Cameron, wait!" Chase called after her, sprinting a little to finally catch up to her, grabbing her arm.

Spinning around, Cameron glared at him. "Why were you talking about that with them?"

"They started it!"

"It doesn't matter!" she said angrily.

"Look, I just - I was thinking about it --"

"Why?" Cameron interrupted.

Chase blinked, frowning a little. "Well...I feel like there's still some unresolved business."

"Oh? Really? What happened to never doing it again? What happened to not making things complicated?" Cameron retorted, pulling her arm away from his grasp.

"Just talking about it isn't sleeping together or making things complicated."

"Maybe not for you! That was...the most humiliating moment of my life, Chase. Why after all this time do you want to drag it out?"

"We can't pretend like it never happened!"

"Yeah, we can. We were doing really great at it until now."

"Okay, fine..." Chase sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I can't pretend like it never happened."

"All right. Okay," she said, tossing her hands up in defeat, "you want answers to all your questions? You got it. Ask me," she said, crossing her arms now.

"...Really?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

"Really."

Chase furrowed his brow in thought for a moment, wondering where in the world he was going to start. He wasn't going to get this chance again, that was for sure. He had to make sure he asked all the right questions to set his mind at ease. "All right. Why did you call me? Why not House? Or even Foreman?"

Glaring harder at him, Cameron said, "I called you because I knew you were easy. You're a casanova and I knew that there was no way in hell you'd turn down the chance to sleep with me. Sober or not."

Chase's jaw dropped and he felt that pain in his stomach once again. "That's not true!" Was that what she really thought of him?

"The hell it's not! You knew I was high and you still went through with it! You're just - you're just a slut."

Another twinge of pain in his gut. "A what?"

"You heard me."

"You really just called me a slut?" Chase asked, still in disbelief.

"Are you deaf?"

His brain told him to shut up. It tried to tell him to just give up, walk away. He'd done enough damage for one day. But his brain was drowned out by the ache in his stomach - unfortunately for Chase. "This coming from the girl who quit her job at one of the best hospitals in the country because her boss wouldn't sleep with her -"

"That was not the reason!" she interjected.

"- And then only came back after you blackmailed him into going on a date with you -"

"It wasn't blackmail!"

"- And who still continues to lust after him like a dog in heat day in and day out, wearing short little skirts and low-cut tops to try to catch his attention? You're calling me a slut?"

"Go to hell, Robert." And with that, she began to storm off once again. Chase could almost hear her anger in the click of her heels against the hospital floor, each one like a different, more painful punch to the stomach. "Great," he muttered to himself.

With a sigh, he went after her again, grabbing her arm once more. "I'm sorry, all right? I just -" He ran his hand back through his hair, not quite sure what he was trying to say himself. "I don't understand it. Any of it."

"And you think I do?" she snapped back, her back still to him.

Chase shrugged, lowering his head. "The only thing I do understand is that...I can't stop thinking about it."

She turned around to face him now, eying him, asking, "What?"

He looked back up at her, frowning a bit at the tear stains that were prominent on her cheeks. Punch. "Didn't you see the way I was staring at you today?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm not oblivious, Chase. But I just thought you were being...you."

Chase frowned more, crossing his arms. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Shaking her head, Cameron sighed. "You gaze off like that all the time. How was I supposed to know you were actually looking at me?"

"I - I don't know...I suppose I just thought it was obvious."

She wiped some of the drying tears from her cheeks then crossed her arms. "What exactly are you thinking about?"

Chase blinked. "What?"

"You said you were thinking about when we slept together...so what about it are you thinking about?"

"Oh." Glancing down, Chase licked his lips. Was there any way to tell her without coming off like a creep? Had the ship already sailed on that anyway? "Well, uh - like I said, it didn't suck."

"Yeah." Cameron nodded, looking down at the floor.

"And...I was wondering why me but, you cleared that up already."

She shook her head, looking back up at him. "No, that wasn't the reason. I was just mad at you."

Chase bit his lip, sticking his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. "Well, then...what was the reason?"

Cameron took a deep breath, averting her gaze from him. "I trust you. I knew - or thought now - that you wouldn't make a big deal out of it. And you'd understand it was just a one time thing..."

"If we agree on that, then why did you get so upset when I told House and --"

"Because no one wants to hear that!" Cameron said. "What if I told my girlfriends that about you? How would that have made you feel?"

Chase shrugged, looking down again. "Pretty bad."

"It has nothing to do with whether I want it to happen again or if I have feelings for you. It has to do with respect."

"So, then...why aren't you always going around and telling people how I disrespected you by taking advantage of you?"

Softly, Cameron said, "Because maybe I was still sober enough to stop it if I really wanted to."

Chase's eyes widened slightly, looking back up at her only to see her walking away from him. "Cameron!"

"Clinic duty," was her reply as she walked toward the elevator.

Chase ran after her, still staring in disbelief as he stood next to her while she watched the floor numbers light up above the elevator. Did she really say what he thought she'd said? Did she mean it the way he thought she had? If it was just a one time thing and she didn't feel anything for him, then why did she let it happen? A whole new cluster of questions swirled around his brain, making him a bit dizzy. "You can't walk away from this. Not now!"

"I have clinic duty," she said again, eyes still watching the numbers.

"All this time, I thought I was taking advantage of you and you - you knew what you were doing!"

"I was still high."

"But you were consciously aware of your actions! You said yourself you could've stopped it if you wanted to, but you didn't. You - You willingly slept with me!"

"Why are you so surprised by this?" she asked as the elevator doors opened and she stepped inside. "You're a casanova, after all." With that, the doors shut between them and Chase was left standing there with more questions than answers. Had she just been using the drugs as an excuse to get something she'd wanted for a while now? Was he just using the drugs as an excuse for the exact same thing? Were either of them really over what happened? And most importantly of all: did they really both agree it should never happen again?

All Chase could do was numbly walk back into the lounge and take his seat, albeit nearly missing it the first time. He stared down at the table, trying to sort out everything he'd just learned in his head. It wasn't going well. What kind of game was she playing? Was she playing a game at all? Was he unknowingly playing a game? Question after question popped up and Chase found himself with his head in his hands, unable to answer any of them.

It wasn't until Foreman walked in from House's office, eyebrow raised and asked him, "What happened?" that he felt his stomach take a jump up into his throat. He found himself hit dead-on with a realization that he wished had never been brought to his attention. With an almost audible "gulp", he looked up at Foreman. The only words he could think to say were,

"I think I'm in love with her."